I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
