Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
