Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i need some magic done to my vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
