Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
