i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
