i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
