it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Green mimosas i think yes
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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