I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
