That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
