You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
