yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
