Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
