there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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