haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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