i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
