can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She bit a glass in half.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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