Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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