I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh god it's open bar.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
