This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
