she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
