I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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