Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
