The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
