I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
