I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
