When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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