I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
