The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize