mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
