remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
