so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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