So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
