no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I could fuck to npr.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
