I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
