super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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