He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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