Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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