That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
