My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
