oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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