His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
