So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
