People in love make me want to vomit
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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