Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You pole danced in your parka.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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