The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
