This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
