That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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