I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
