woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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