party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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