ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
