can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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