Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
