Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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