is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
