Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
