Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
