Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my moral compass just broke
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
