'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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