I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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