How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
